Less, Not More - the power in letting go.

2. People

Oooof! This one might hurt.

Letting go of people…. or perhaps your attachment to their words, actions and opinions, is HARD.

I’m guessing that as soon as you let your mind wander into this subject, you’ll become aware of less than healthy relationships you have, or have had, in your life. That’s not to say those people don’t add anything to your life, but perhaps they’re taking away more in terms of your valuable self-confidence and self-esteem or peace of mind.

Let’s be honest, those close to us can have a weighty impact on our own values, opinions and thoughts, even if we like to feel we’re very independently minded.

Whether it’s a lover, family member or friend, choosing to let go is often a process filled with conflicted emotions, insecurity, and uncertainty. No wonder we often hold on for longer than is good for us.

We can get fixated on all the things we are going to lose

• Support and care

• Reassurance and validation

• A sense of belonging and value

When we are treated with indifference, rejection, unkindness, oppression, we might start to question what is wrong with us, what we’ve done wrong, in what ways we are lacking…

Rather than questioning the behaviour or attitude of the other person.

It’s all part of our “survival” make-up to want to fit in, be accepted and be liked.

Interestingly, it’s self-acceptance, self-care and self-esteem that can have the biggest impact on us, if only we are able to place our attention on building on these, rather than focussing on seeking validation externally.

We tend though, to overthink the other persons words and actions; questioning why they are treating us in this way, (something we may never fully understand), rather than focussing on the cold, hard truth that we simply aren’t feeling valued/loved/safe!

So, if there are people in your life who are bringing you pain, sadness or conflict, I wonder if you can simply consider a new perspective in order to help you make a decision about holding them close or creating distance -

Rather than fixating on what you might lose, try considering what you might gain;

👉 What or who might you be making space for?

👉 Which healthy boundaries might you be able to introduce?

👉 How might you show yourself greater kindness and understanding?

Less, really can bring more!