The Problem With Silver Linings…

Well, it’s the POTENTIAL problem with silver linings, to be more accurate…

Sometimes, when you’re in a negative or worrisome mindset, you just need someone to give you a more positive perspective, to remind you of how fabulous you are or to simply help you remember all that’s going well in your life.

Then again, sometimes you just need to be heard.

When I say heard, i mean, really heard.

👉 For another person or persons to bear witness to your moment, your challenge, your experience, your pain.

👉 To be given space to simply share how you’re feeling, without fear of judgement or recrimination.

👉 To be allowed to articulate how you’re being impacted by a person, thought or event without being offered well-meaning solutions.

Solutions, ideas and new perspectives can be so helpful and reassuring, BUT, that’s not always what’s wanted or needed. Sometimes a person just wants to be heard.

We instinctively want others to feel better, stronger, happier, both for them, and for us!

It’s only natural that we might jump in with reminders of all things positive.

But there are other ways to truly support each other.

As a life-long, fully paid-up member of the “let me make things better for you” club, it’s taken some adjustment to recognise the importance of simply holding the space for someone. Clearly my current vocation requires this on a daily basis!… but it’s valuable in all areas of life and relationships.

So next time you hear all the silver-linings

“I’m sure you’ll be fine”

“Please don’t be upset/angry/sensitive…“

“I know exactly how you feel, that happened to me”

“Don’t let it get to you”

“You know what you should do…” Don’t hesitate to let the person know IF you just need to be heard.

And next time you’re tempted to offer any of the above, just see if you can practice

• pausing

• listening

• accepting …THEN asking if there’s anything they need.

Here to talk if you’re ready for someone to “hold the space”.